Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. Matthew 7:24-27.
I see so many people who come from broken homes repeating the same mistakes, choosing wrong partners, ending up divorced (if they decide to get married) and with children who are suicidal, etc. Why? Many of them grew up going to church. They know the word of God, but they choose not to obey it. The imprint from their childhood and the examples they had set for them seem to make a bigger impact than what they have been taught. I mean no condemnation in saying this, all of us have made mistakes and are imperfect, including me.
I think a large part of the problem is codependency. As I’ve said before, we’ve all got a God-shaped hole. You can try to fill it with money, things, drugs, relationships, food, etc., but until you find a real relationship with the Lord, you will not be satisfied.
Following Jesus is not easy. often we have to deny ourselves and choose to spend time alone with God, friends, etc. while everyone else seems to be dating or getting married or living a more exciting life. I’ve been through it and it’s not easy, but waiting for the right person, who has the same values that you do, who will love you like Christ loves the church is worth waiting for. You don’t have to kiss a bunch of toads to find your Prince Charming, you just wait on the Lord to bring him and look for the fruit. I prayed for a man that would love God first and me second and that’s what he brought me. My husband used to tell his sisters, “If you find a man that truly loves God, he will love you also.”
I believe much of codependency is idolatry. Idolatry is anything that we place above God in our hearts, that we allow to take the place of God in our heart. Most of us worship our desires, until we learn how to do better. I shared previously about my battle with an unrighteous soul tie. It was all about idolatry. Idolizing someone in my heart above God, but once I repented and got rid of that, I would never go back.
If you don’t want to keep going around the same mountain, having one bad relationship after the other, you need to learn God’s word and His ways. Studying God’s nature helps us learn to trust Him, that He is good and has a good plan and the right partner for our lives. As we implement His word and ways in our lives, we are building our house on the rock. We are gaining a foundation of faith and trust that will stand firm when the storms of life come. On the other hand, those who do not hear and implement God’s word and ways into their lives are building something that will be destroyed when storms come.
James, chapter one says:
So get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in our hearts] contains the power to save your souls. But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth]. James 1:21-22 AMP
Did you get that? We can betray ourselves into deception by hearing the word of God and reasoning contrary to it, making excuses for why we don’t need to obey it. Doing it God’s way is so much better. You have trials in life no matter what you do, but when you do things God’s way, you get the results that He promises.
There is so much going on in the world. I do believe that we are living in the end times. I feel concerned for family members, loved ones and people in general who seem to think that obeying God is optional. We are saved by grace, but Jesus said you will know them by their fruit. To believe or be born again is more than just mentally assenting to the fact that He is God. In the original language, believe means: faith in, trust in, reliance upon, adherence to and to obey. Jesus said: You must be born again (John 3:3). That starts by inviting Jesus to come into your heart, asking Him to forgive you of your sins and then living a life of obedience to Him. Jesus said in John 14:21 “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me.” God knows we’re not going to be perfect, but He also knows our heart and whether we are seriously trying to follow Him or not.
I just want to encourage you all to draw near to the Lord, feed your mind with His word, praise and worship music, teaching videos, etc. and make a real commitment to Him. Try to find a church to get plugged into if you’re not already. I do believe harder times are coming and we all need to be firmly rooted and grounded in Him. God bless you all.
In Christ ~Kelly Evans Rowe
*For more teaching about codependency, soul ties, etc., please see my book entitled: Essential Keys to Healing a Wounded Heart, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
